The Junjou Romantica Playlist of Pervy Song Parodies
by Spockaholic
Summary: A series of raunchy song parodies, brought to you through the miracle of procrastination and writer's block.
1. Teenage Peen

**CONFESSIONS OF A SPOCKAHOLIC**

**I promised myself that the next time I posted a Junjou Romantica story, it would be a serious work of literature with an actual plot. And then this happened. I have no excuse. I'm so sorry. **

**As you can probably imagine, you are about to venture into perv-infested waters with a forecast of strong language. Just a heads up.**

**...with deepest apologies to Katy Perry and Shungiku Nakamura**

Teenage Peen

You think I'm pervy  
When I try to make you cum  
You think I'm lazy  
When I get my deadlines wrong  
I know you want me  
So I'll make your pants come down, down

Before you met me, I liked to write  
But things were kinda lonely  
You held me and cried  
Now every bear you gave me  
Lets me know you are mine  
You are mine

Let be wild and gay tonight  
No regrets, just love  
We can fuck, until we die  
You will cry and we'll cum forever

_[Chorus:]_

You make me feel like I'm licking a  
Teenage peen  
The way you turn me on  
I can't stop  
Let's hump today and  
I'll ride on your back  
I'll ride on your back

My cock throbs  
When you yell at me  
Just your crotch  
Misaki I believe  
Needs a feel  
So drop your pants and  
I'll ride on your back  
I'll ride on your back

Went to Hokkaido  
Bought snacks but left one each  
Got marimo and  
Rolled around in the sheets  
I finally found you  
My little shy cocktease  
You're so sweet

Let's be wild and gay tonight  
No regrets, just love  
We can fuck until we die  
You will cry, and we'll cum forever

_[Chorus:]_

You make me feel like I'm licking a  
Teenage peen  
The way you turn me on  
I can't stop  
Let's hump today and  
I'll ride on your back  
I'll ride on your back

My cock throbs  
When you yell at me  
Just your crotch  
Misaki I believe  
Needs a feel  
So drop your pants and  
I'll ride on your back  
I'll ride on your back

I'mma get your arse aching in your skin-tight jeans  
See your teenage peen tonight  
Make you put your hands on me  
In my skin-tight jeans  
See your teenage peen tonight

_[Chorus:]_

Yoooouuu  
You make me feel  
Like I'm licking a  
Teenage peen  
The way you turn me on  
I can't stop  
Let's hump today and  
I'll ride on your back  
I'll ride on your back  
No

My cock throbs  
When you yell at me  
Just your crotch  
Misaki I believe  
Needs a feel  
So drop your pants and  
I'll ride on your back  
I'll ride on your back

I'mma get your arse aching in your skin-tight jeans  
See your teenage peen tonight  
Make you put your hands on me  
In my skin-tight jeans  
See your teenage peen tonight  
(Tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight)

**I'm not sure how often I'll update this one, but it will probably happen when I'm struggling to write my other stuff (writing pervy song parodies is kind of my go-to when I get writer's block). If anyone has any requests for other songs to spoof, feel free to let me know and I'll be happy to consider them.**

**Spockfully yours,**

**Spockholic**


	2. My Shinobu

**...with deepest apologies to The Knack and Shungiku Nakamura**

My Shinobu (a parody of "My Sharona")

Ooh, my little pouty one, my pouty one  
When you gonna leave me alone, Shinobu  
Ooh, you make me feel so old, feel so old  
Terrorizing me in my home, Shinobu

Never gonna top, give it up, such a manly cry  
I never get it up, for the touch of a younger guy  
My, my, my, aye-aye, whoa!  
M-m-m-my Shinobu

I'm a little old for you, don't you think?  
Old enough to call you my son, Shinobu  
Keeping girls away from me, it gets to me  
Trying not to think of your bum, Shinobu

Never gonna top, give it up, such a manly cry  
I never get it up, for the touch of a younger guy  
My, my, my, aye-aye, whoa!  
M-m-m-my Shinobu  
M-m-m-my Shinobu

What you gonna cook for me, cook for me,  
Is it stir-fried cabbage again, Shinobu?  
Is it d-d-destiny, d-destiny  
Don't you see I'm not into men, Shinobu?

Never gonna top, give it up, such a manly cry  
I never get it up, for the touch of a younger guy  
My, my, my, aye-aye, whoa!  
M-m-m-m-m-m-m-my, my, my, aye-aye, whoa!  
M-m-m-my Shinobu  
M-m-m-my Shinobu  
M-m-m-my Shinobu  
M-m-m-my Shinobu

Ooooooo-ohhh, my Shinobu  
Ooooooo-ohhh, my Shinobu  
Ooooooo-ohhh, my Shinobu


	3. Kiss the Perv

**Sooo, yeah. I honestly don't know what I was thinking when I started this...whatever the heck it is. I'm just gonna go ahead and post this last song parody (because I like things in threes), mark the whole thing as "complete" and pretend it never happened.**

**...with deepest apologies to Walt Disney Pictures, Alen Menken, Howard Ashman, Shungiku Nakamura and anyone whose childhoods I may have unintentionally ruined.**

Kiss the Perv (a parody of "Kiss the Girl" from "The Little Mermaid")

Bell peppers, eels, bears, feels

There's Usagi  
Hitting on you night and day  
You don't think that you are gay  
But there's something about him  
And you don't know why  
But you're drawn to this guy  
You wanna kiss the perv

Yes, you like him  
Look at him, you know you do  
Obvious he likes you too  
It's no wonder your ass hurts  
So don't be a jerk  
Put your courage to work  
Go on and kiss the perv

Sing with me now  
Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
Why oh why

You such a wimpy guy  
Ain't gonna kiss the perv  
Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
Holy crap**  
**Look at his patience snap  
You gonna diss the perv

Now's your moment  
Smoking in the living room  
Boy, you better man up soon  
No time would be better  
He don't want to work  
And he won't get to work  
Until you kiss the perv

Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
Don't be scared  
You got to grow a pair  
Go on and kiss the perv  
Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
Don't freak out  
Don't try to hide it how  
You wanna kiss the perv  
Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
Turn him on  
And listen to your dong  
Your dong say kiss the perv  
Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
Fangirls pray  
Do what the fangirls say  
You wanna kiss the perv

You've got to kiss the perv  
Why don't you kiss the perv  
You gotta kiss the perv  
Go on and kiss the perv

**...aaaaand that does it. Thanks for checking this out. Now that I've got it out of my system I can get back to finishing my other projects, which include a Junjou Romantica oneshot and an update to "Cupid's Cove," my gong show of a Star Trek: TOS WIP that is hopefully growing out of its rebellious phase. Stay tuned!**

**Spockfully yours, **

**Spockaholic**


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